Clickity Schnar Schnar!

Eating good Mexican food, sipping margaritas and smoking a Cuban. I suppose there are worse ways to end a vacation.  I just concluded my two week excursion exploring the finer parts of Indonesia and I can safely say I'm much darker for it.

I spent the first leg of the trip in the beautiful Kuta, Lombok. Not only was it a beautiful place to travel, but I finally put the surfer lingo that Ike, Ben and I learned to good use. I couldn't bring myself to rent a board and try to surf though, so you guys won't be hearing of any neptune cocktails in this blog post. Sorry. Renting a motorbike and exploring the surrounding beaches was phenomenal though. Pictured is Mawan beach (above) and atop a hill at Seger beach (below).

After getting hosed by a taxi driver and a fast boat company, I made my way to Gili Air. The Gili Islands are a small string of three islands off the coast of Lombok and are growing tourist destinations. Evident by the ridiculous number of white people there. Gili Air, my first stop, is the second largest island with plenty of beach side cafes and small bungalows overlooking the water. Not the worst place to relax and read A Feast For Crows. So pumped for Season 5.

Gili Meno (below) is the smallest and most....intimate island. Not exactly the most exciting place for a single male traveling alone, I'll admit. But the cafes still had plenty of Bintang, the best friend of Indonesian travelers. After packing myself like a sardine in a public ferry, I exhaled to find myself on Gili Traganwan. Familiar faces were seen, the beer (Kilkenny, thankfully) flowed and laughs were shared. Gili Traganwan was the largest and most visited island, but international amenities are nice after a week of fried rice, Bintang and water. 

I rounded out the trip with three days in Bali. Making the trek from Ubud to Seminyak was long, expensive and worth it. Dressing up was a nice change of pace too. And by dressing up, I mean khaki shorts and a tee shirt. My sense of style remains unwavering, to the disappointment of many.

Ubud, the cultural hub of Bali, provided a couple days of temples, shopping and much needed rest from such a demanding journey prior. A crude jape to those who are heading to or are currently at work right now, sorry. 

I head back next week to the stress of preparing kids for their exams (yes, already). This year will have more interesting and intense challenges, but I look forward to the prospect of finding a new job and seeing everyone the next time I return. If you're reading, a shout out to the happy couple, Kenny and Whitney Lents. Already miss you guys and had a blast at your wedding. Many happy years ahead and please put down those ridiculous Rockstar orange juice/horse piss/energy drinks and have a diesel for me. 'Til next time.

Four Asians, One Bule

Starting yet another blog post expressing how awesome Indonesia is in the hopes it will convince my dad to pop eight sleeping pills and make the flight over here. My most recent excursion was to a small archipelago east of Kalimantan.  Staying on Derawan, these string of islands are referred to as the 'Maldives of Indonesia'. I didn't need anymore convincing after hearing that.

By the time the trip was finalized, we had assembled a....unique group. Three females whose rowdiness and overall party experience, if combined, might equate to my first weekend in college. And one other mustache-laden male colleague who I found out has the laugh of an evil witch. Needless to say, many of the colleagues that know all of us had a good laugh when they heard this crew was going on break together.

Regardless, nothing could dampen or discourage us because Derawan was awesome! Our first night was just dinner, catching the sunset and staring in awe of the transparency of the crystal clear blue water. The second day is when things got fun. After a choppy, hour and a half boat ride to Matatua where we saw some incredible scenery, we went to an inland that hosts stingless jellyfish. Yes, stingless jellyfish. These little shits were everywhere and it led to some good selfies, as loathe as I am to admit it.

After giggling shitless with these little marvels for an hour, we made our way to the main attraction: manta rays. These things were MASSIVE. I saw them from the boat and thought to myself 'Hey, they're not so bad. I'm not scared. I'm a man'. So I swim up with my swanky new underwater camera, see how big that stinger is and kept a healthy distance. And when I say kept a healthy distance, I took the picture then immediately swam away yelling 'Shit! These fuckers are huge!' Sorry, I forgot to say at the beginning that viewer discretion is advised.

Our last day was mostly spent swimming with sea turtles.  These guys were around our overwater bungalow the entire trip, so it was cool to see them up close. I touched one before it zoomed off. Those things could scoot. But I had to have physical contact so my special bald roommate would be extremely jealous and, spoiler alert, he was. Told me to fuck right off.

Such vulgar language this blog post, my apologies. But this is just the way I talk....haven't ya ever seen my movies?! If you don't know that quote, YouTube it or seek help immediately. Haven't decided if I'll have a mini vacation in June prior to returning home, but I'm stateside on the 24th of June. Incredibly excited for the wedding I'll be apart of this summer, but also next summer! Congrats to my brother Jordan for popping the question and bless his fiance Anne for taking pity on him and saying yes. Until next time folks, have some diesels ready for the 24th!

P.S. The moment you realize you're on vacation with four Asians...

Tuk Fast, Tuk Furious

It's been a while, gang. My apologies, but term 3 is a grind.  We'll get to that later.  So much to discuss!  After a grand, but far too short trip back to the states in December/January, I hopped on board a flight to Bangkok for an international teacher's fair.  Of course, this was the beginning of the snow storm that ravaged the Midwest and dropped temperatures down to -40 degrees. I miss it....is that weird? Anyways, it caused us to have a three hour delay at the gate and forced us to then make an emergency stop in Seoul to pick up another cabin crew.  20 hours on the plane. 20....hours....I was so happy they give free booze for international flights.

I met three other friends at the fair and our confidence was sky high.  Enjoying each others company, Bangkok and the fact that we're all going to get top-flight jobs. Oh, how the mighty fall.  After the first day, we were shell shocked.  These were all international teachers with 5+ years of teaching experience and training specific to the schools that were in attendance.  We all came back to the hotel and started talking about where we were going to live next year, since we'd all have to re-sign with our current school.  Luckily enough for two of my friends, they ended up getting jobs in South Korea and Romania.  Awesome gigs.  Myself and my other friend decided to re-sign with our current school for another year.  Disappointing at first, but another year of white sand beaches and great food won't be all that bad.

The two of us, avoiding our other celebratory roommates, decided to make the jaunt to Khao Shan road in Bangkok.  It's a famous area for tourists to buy cheap goods, have some great food and party the night away (By the way, the food cart on the right included fried grasshoppers, cockroaches and scorpions).  After taking the subway to the nearest station, we had to find another form of transport to take us the rest of the way.  Enter the inspiration of this blog post: the tuk-tuk.  How to describe a tuk-tuk for those who haven't experienced its awesomeness....it's a motorcycle that pulls a covered, open-air bench around for the change in your pocket.  However, they are notorious for having a finger in everything. They'll offer you and/or know where to get anything under the sun:  food, booze, drugs, women, midget wrestling, etc. You name it, they know.  So my friend and I weren't surprised when the tuk-tuk driver turned around and asked "You want boom-boom?!" I look at my friend, thinking the same thing you are right now, and say "Oh no, no boom-boom for us tonight. Thanks."  He turns around clearly disappointed.  About five minutes later, another tuk-tuk drives by with some very attractive young women and our driver feels the need to flip on the huge speaker right behind us. Blaring music is echoing from our tuk-tuk while the driver turns around with a thumbs up, a huge grin on his face and says, "Boom-boom!" while pointing to the speaker.  Only in Asia, my friends.

A mere four weeks after I returned to Jakarta and signed the one-year pact with my current school, it was Chinese New Year.  Our four day weekend was spent in the non-commercial paradise of Belitung.  In the process of trying to become Indonesia's next tourist hotspot, a four-star hotel had just been built in anticipation of future tourism. Rooms for the weekend during their soft opening were dirt cheap and the accommodations were fantastic.  Clear blue water and beautiful rock formations were the selling point at nearly every beach.

Strong currents and seasickness didn't stop us from island hopping during the trip.  We visited an old (but still operational) Dutch lighthouse and another island with a sea turtle farm.  In the middle of this term, sun and relaxation are necessities and Belitung fit the bill.  Just watch out for that damn coral. Shit messed up my knee and tore my board shorts.  But hey, we got to the top of some of those rocks.

In the midst of our 10-week revision, this was the only time I could find to write this blog.  Belitung was the one bit of solace during the grind that takes up at least 50 hours of your week, every week, for the ten weeks the students get to prepare for their graduating exams. Have to love the Singapore curriculum.

Heart goes out to my great uncle Augie. He passed away this past weekend at 91. Guy was a dude. Still on Facebook and reading my blog at age 91. So this one is for you, Uncle Augie. Sorry I couldn't finish it before you passed.  Next blog post will be early April, folks. Planning on a trip to Jogjakarta (old capital) and the Derawan Archipelago. Until then, enjoy the cold and have a reasonably priced diesel for me!

Gooooooodddd Mooooorrrnnniinnnnng, Vietnam!

Okay, so my Robin Williams impression lacks....well, a lot. However, that didn't stop me from enjoying myself on my most recent excursion to Vietnam. Due to a flight change, I was stuck in the Kuala Lumpur airport overnight, but after a 10 hour love affair with the Plaza Premium Lounge (in which I made them amend their free flow beer rule), I headed to Ho Chi Minh City. Theeeen I almost had to turn back. Never trust Wikipedia (*cough* Dingle *cough*) or any other online resource that says you can get a visa on arrival in Vietnam. Without pre-approval from a Vietnamese embassy


and 4x6 photo, they will kick you straight back to wherever you came from or, in my case, charge you 200 big ones for an emergency visa. Needless to say, this trip was not starting well.

With my wallet and emergency funds considerably lighter (and when I say lighter, I mean empty), I made my way to the hotel. First thing I noticed:  Ho Chi Minh is pretty clean. I wasn't expecting Jakarta, but I didn't think it would be anywhere near Singapore. Pretty nuts. Super friendly people who loved tourists and, surprisingly enough, there WERE a lot of westerners there. I didn't think it would be a hot bed of world travelers, but I think there were a greater amount of bules per capita than in Jakarta. 

After 12 hours of hibernation, I awoke ready to do all the touristy things HCMC had to offer: I went to the Notre Dame Cathedral, the Independence Palace and the Vietnam War Museum. The latter was...interesting. The way things were portrayed in that museum...it was the first time I felt uncomfortable as an American. I hope that doesn't offend anyone. I appreciate everything our vets do and did for our country, but.....shit. Pictures will ensue on Facebook if anyone is curious. I couldn't bring myself to photograph some of it. I felt that bad.  Needless to say, I needed to drink those memories away as soon as possible. Vietnamese beer is....wildly mediocre? Good phrasing? I'm very close to saying that I miss Bintang...gross. Things that make you go 'blaaahhhahhh'.

After an eight hour train ride (on what seemed to be a relic from the war era), I made my way to Nha Trang. Supposedly the best beach area in Vietnam, it didn't quite compare to past vacations. Pretty standard for the beach, but a very chill place. I only had a day and a half there, but Nha Trang isn't known for much outside of the beach and beach-related activities. I spent half of the first day at a spa with mud bathes. Once I moved past questioning my heterosexuality, it was actually quite nice. A mud bath, mineral bath (essentially a hot tub), Italian food, beer and laying in the sun for $25. Boleh! After leaving with silky smooth skin, I broke the bank at the first microbrewery I've seen in Southeast Asia: Louisane Brewery. Compared to Bintang and Anchor, this was magical. Wheat, red ale, dark and pilsner swirling around in my belly was comparable to....drinking tears of a unicorn. Over exaggeration? You're probably right. Sigh, I miss 'Merica. The last day in Nha Trang consisted of exploring the town a bit, beach buming, a Vietnamese massage and some Vietnamese/Tex-Mex combo. Sounds weird, but it was quite good!

An overnight train ride back to Ho Chi Minh, a layover in Malaysia and bam! Back in the Big Durian. My next update will probably be after Christmas break. That will have the big news: what I plan on doing next year. To stay or to go....that's the big question. Update: though I plan on hammering out some sort of extension (won't sign anything until January though) with my current school, I have a Skype interview with a school in Istanbul and will be attending an international teachers fair in Bangkok in January. Until my December visit back to the States, everyone enjoy the cold weather. I'll be drinking a Budweiser by the pool, getting a tan and thinking of you guys. Your only solace is that Bud here costs $4.50. Sad day....until December all! 'Merica!

PETA is going to freak out....

Gila. That was my most recent trip in a nutshell. For all the bules reading this, "gila" means "crazy" in Bahasa Indonesia. So now, even if you hate the rest of this blog post, you can walk away saying "hey, at least I learned something."

Andrew, Ben and I took off for Kuala Lumpur the Friday school ended. Just get us outta here. Exploring the Bukit Bintang province of Kuala Lumpur was quite weird. A lot of white people. We see so few bules in north Jakarta (outside of school, of course) that we start to whisper along with the other locals when some crop up. "Oh my, there's four white people" "what are they doing here?" "This is so weird...white people! Really?!" But the Bukit Bintang area was like being in a dirtier version of California. Some people's night went better than others, but really quite fun overall.

We then made our way up to the Cameron Highlands for a couple days to frolic through the strawberry patches and tea plantations. Super fantabulous! Pffft. I went golfing. The other two were frolicking. Granted, I spent way more money and was pretty horrific on the golf course, but at least the Japanese group I was paired with learned plenty of English curse words. I should apologize to Andrew and Ben though. I wasn't the best company of the trip up until I satisfied my hunger with a Snickers. I can only imagine that it was just like their old commercials.  Bitching until you take that first bite, then everything is better.

After another brief trip to Kuala Lumpur and the Central Market, I sped off to Boracay. A relative pain to get to where you need to go, but the best beaches I've ever seen. Makes Lake Red Rock look like a sewage dump. Apologies to anyone who is going onto Red Rock soon. Try to avoid that massive log that's hiding right below the surface.

Cliff diving and perfect beaches behind me, I flew back to Manila to meet up with my friend/colleague, Joe and his buddy before turning around to Palawan in Puerta Princesa.  Poor weather didn't deter our trip. We ate crocodile, half born chicken fetus (balut) and washed it down with enough San Miguel to make my mother scoff ("Hmpf!  Joshua Carl!"). The cherry on top: the Underground River tour. Recently dubbed one of the seven Wonders of Nature, it didn't disappoint. The waiting time was terrible after such a long night, but the underground river itself was fascinating and well worth the trip.

Three more days in Manila yielded no great stories to speak of. Got to see some friends, saw some old Spanish architecture, etc. All the touristy things. Settling back for week 4 of the first term and this year has the makings to be a good one. Shout out to my friend, Kenny. Recently got engaged. Congrats man! More pictures are on Facebook. Only four months until our next reunion, but I'll give y'all another update about my Vietnam trip before then.

Men In Grey Suits!

 Forget any typos that may or may not be made as I had to do this on my iTouch. I'd be incredibly annoyed if I wasn't in front of a sea view bungalow that faces a volcano. Flores, Indonesia has been a great experience thus far and we only have one day left.  Plan on going to a market, check out the local goods, drink some Bintangs and pack up our stuff. 

Flores is part of the Indonesian archipelago that's north of Australia. Though it's in no way westernized, it's more beautiful because of it. For diehard cinephiles, it's like traveling to the island they used on Jurassic Park. Amazeballs. We stayed outside a town called Moni our first two nights in (what seemed like) one of the two available locations for travelers. Usually no electricity, no running water and mosquito nets. Cold bucket baths and some good ol' Indonesian home cookin' (aka rice). But, the conditions were necessary if we wanted to scale Mt. Kelimutu. I wanted to use the word 'scale' to make it seem like we did something more than walk, but we didn't. Mt. Kelimutu is know for having three craters that hold different colored lakes. I don't know who I have to talk to get it labeled as a world wonder, but I will find them. Not only are they different colors (black, brown and teal when we were there), but they change depending on the different minerals in the water at that time. Did I mention there was a waterfall at the bottom of the trail down the mountain? Uhh, cha! 

The rest of the trip was traveling to a different location (Maumere), going to a cave and snorkeling. We didn't explore the cave as much as we would have liked, but we were warned of pythons in the deeper, wetter part of the cave. No thanks. However, I did see (again, for all the nerdy cinephiles like me) the same spider they used in the 4th Harry Potter film. And yea, I understand how lame I sound writing this. 

Snorkeling was awesome. Not only was the water crystal clear, but we saw a rift that was caused by an earthquake at some point. Different types of coral reef then a sharp and distinct drop off. Looked insane and a little scary. Men in grey suits could have popped up at any point and we'd have little warning. Craziness.

Coming back to Jakarta will start the final push for the academic year. Preliminary tests (yes, you heard me right: preliminary tests) will start almost immediately upon return. After those two weeks are up, I have the next two weeks with the students to review the Prelims. At the beginning of May, they'll begin their ACTUAL tests that will last a total of five weeks. Franklin Delano! 

I plan on coming home mid-June for Ashley and Willard's wedding. Shout out to all three couples getting married. Apologies to Josh-Emily and Joey-Jessie for not being able to make yours. If this ends up being my last blog post of the year (my mom is now crying after reading that), I hope I get to see you all when I'm back. Two weeks is a small window, but I'll keep in touch and try to see as many as I can. Enjoy the everlasting winter in Iowa, I'll stay here and soak up some cosmic rays in the 85 degree weather. The only upside of the former:  plenty of time for drinkin' diesels. Have one for me and hope for warmer weather.

Crocodiles, Pythons and Bintang! Oh My!

Well, it's been a while.  Mama Youngman has already voiced her displeasure about the lack of blog posts, so here we are. Stuff has been crazy in these parts ever since coming back to Jakarta in January. It's still relatively early in the rainy season, but we've already had the worst flood since 2007 blow into town.  Neck high water, crocodiles swimming around and pythons being pulled out of the flood water with half-disgusted people in their bellies. Fantastic stuff. School was cancelled for two days leading up to the weekend, so the teachers in flooded areas were pretty much on lock-down for four days. We found ways to have fun without the luxuries:  girl chat, morse code with flash lights, etc.

Fortunately enough, I was outside Jakarta when the floods happened. I got roped into supervising the JC1 (equivalent to juniors) camp, which was still relatively awful. It didn't flood, but it was impossible to walk because of the mud. Couple that mosquitoes devouring my legs and you get the reasons why I hate camping. I came back right before the water levels started to rise to an apartment full of instant noodles and a small amount of water. We had to survive on beer mostly. Worst couple days of my life....psyche! It was awesome. On a more serious note, thoughts be with the families that lost loved ones. At least 20 people died in this flood.

Anyone who's been teaching more than six weeks will just only respond one way when asked (100 times by other folks) how classes are going:  meh, they're goin.  My 9th and 11th grade classes continue with normal lessons.  My 10th graders (who are in a major testing year) have been in revision mode since the beginning of the term in preparations for their tests in May.  Yes, you heard that correctly.  The entire 3rd term (10 weeks) is completely dedicated to revision for this one exam and they do this in all academic classes. Craziness.


I've got my flights booked to come back in June, though I'll only be there for a couple weeks.  Shout out to the future Mr. and Mrs. Aaron Willard, as they roped me into coming back.  Could have gone to Australia....but no, I had to answer Tree Beard's call. I hope to supervise a Sociology trip to Bali between Term 3 and 4. If not, hop over to Malaysia and check that out.