Sudah Pipis!

There could be better places to write this blog. I'm currently a sardine wedged in amongst my fellows on a boat back to Semarang.  Only this sardine is a different color and twice the size of nearly every other sardine on board. I suppose that's why they gave me such a spacious seat....on the floor.

My future back and neck problems aside, the long journey concluded a successful trip to Karimunjawa.  A small island north of Semarang, Karimunjawa is yet another relatively untouched gem in Indonesia.  Bright green water and white sand beaches are common and hosted some of the fish that our guides eventually caught and cooked. 

The highlight of our trip and Karimunjawa's claim to fame has to be its shark farm.  Docile white- and black-tipped reef sharks that swim around you when you enter the pool. Docile....how ridiculous. Possibly the greatest predator on planet Earth and we're going to domesticate it. Dumb. Dumber still:  we went in. As our Admiral would say: risk assessment.  If all five of us go in, there's less of a chance I would get bitten, right?

After utilizing the last in, first out method to its fullest extent, we continued our journey of beautiful coral, wonderfully colored fish and sea-locked sandbars. Three days was enough to see the majority of what Karimunjawa had to offer, so now we're returning to the Big Durian:  black lung, macet gila and toilets with seats.

 Kids are starting their first round of external exams today. Though my test isn't for another couple of weeks, the nerves are starting to build.  The graduating class teachers are having extra sessions on Saturdays and doing whatever they can to prepare. I also plan on sacrificing a chicken  while wearing a chain of rabbit feet around my neck. Whatever works, right?

Looking forward to the next round of job fairs in January.   Unfortunately, I won't be returning in December because of them. But don't fret. There will still be plenty of diesel upon my return in June. Until then, enjoy the beauty of autumn prior to the frostbite you'll most likely receive during the winter. I'll stick with 85 and sunny!

Clickity Schnar Schnar!

Eating good Mexican food, sipping margaritas and smoking a Cuban. I suppose there are worse ways to end a vacation.  I just concluded my two week excursion exploring the finer parts of Indonesia and I can safely say I'm much darker for it.

I spent the first leg of the trip in the beautiful Kuta, Lombok. Not only was it a beautiful place to travel, but I finally put the surfer lingo that Ike, Ben and I learned to good use. I couldn't bring myself to rent a board and try to surf though, so you guys won't be hearing of any neptune cocktails in this blog post. Sorry. Renting a motorbike and exploring the surrounding beaches was phenomenal though. Pictured is Mawan beach (above) and atop a hill at Seger beach (below).

After getting hosed by a taxi driver and a fast boat company, I made my way to Gili Air. The Gili Islands are a small string of three islands off the coast of Lombok and are growing tourist destinations. Evident by the ridiculous number of white people there. Gili Air, my first stop, is the second largest island with plenty of beach side cafes and small bungalows overlooking the water. Not the worst place to relax and read A Feast For Crows. So pumped for Season 5.

Gili Meno (below) is the smallest and most....intimate island. Not exactly the most exciting place for a single male traveling alone, I'll admit. But the cafes still had plenty of Bintang, the best friend of Indonesian travelers. After packing myself like a sardine in a public ferry, I exhaled to find myself on Gili Traganwan. Familiar faces were seen, the beer (Kilkenny, thankfully) flowed and laughs were shared. Gili Traganwan was the largest and most visited island, but international amenities are nice after a week of fried rice, Bintang and water. 

I rounded out the trip with three days in Bali. Making the trek from Ubud to Seminyak was long, expensive and worth it. Dressing up was a nice change of pace too. And by dressing up, I mean khaki shorts and a tee shirt. My sense of style remains unwavering, to the disappointment of many.

Ubud, the cultural hub of Bali, provided a couple days of temples, shopping and much needed rest from such a demanding journey prior. A crude jape to those who are heading to or are currently at work right now, sorry. 

I head back next week to the stress of preparing kids for their exams (yes, already). This year will have more interesting and intense challenges, but I look forward to the prospect of finding a new job and seeing everyone the next time I return. If you're reading, a shout out to the happy couple, Kenny and Whitney Lents. Already miss you guys and had a blast at your wedding. Many happy years ahead and please put down those ridiculous Rockstar orange juice/horse piss/energy drinks and have a diesel for me. 'Til next time.

Four Asians, One Bule

Starting yet another blog post expressing how awesome Indonesia is in the hopes it will convince my dad to pop eight sleeping pills and make the flight over here. My most recent excursion was to a small archipelago east of Kalimantan.  Staying on Derawan, these string of islands are referred to as the 'Maldives of Indonesia'. I didn't need anymore convincing after hearing that.

By the time the trip was finalized, we had assembled a....unique group. Three females whose rowdiness and overall party experience, if combined, might equate to my first weekend in college. And one other mustache-laden male colleague who I found out has the laugh of an evil witch. Needless to say, many of the colleagues that know all of us had a good laugh when they heard this crew was going on break together.

Regardless, nothing could dampen or discourage us because Derawan was awesome! Our first night was just dinner, catching the sunset and staring in awe of the transparency of the crystal clear blue water. The second day is when things got fun. After a choppy, hour and a half boat ride to Matatua where we saw some incredible scenery, we went to an inland that hosts stingless jellyfish. Yes, stingless jellyfish. These little shits were everywhere and it led to some good selfies, as loathe as I am to admit it.

After giggling shitless with these little marvels for an hour, we made our way to the main attraction: manta rays. These things were MASSIVE. I saw them from the boat and thought to myself 'Hey, they're not so bad. I'm not scared. I'm a man'. So I swim up with my swanky new underwater camera, see how big that stinger is and kept a healthy distance. And when I say kept a healthy distance, I took the picture then immediately swam away yelling 'Shit! These fuckers are huge!' Sorry, I forgot to say at the beginning that viewer discretion is advised.

Our last day was mostly spent swimming with sea turtles.  These guys were around our overwater bungalow the entire trip, so it was cool to see them up close. I touched one before it zoomed off. Those things could scoot. But I had to have physical contact so my special bald roommate would be extremely jealous and, spoiler alert, he was. Told me to fuck right off.

Such vulgar language this blog post, my apologies. But this is just the way I talk....haven't ya ever seen my movies?! If you don't know that quote, YouTube it or seek help immediately. Haven't decided if I'll have a mini vacation in June prior to returning home, but I'm stateside on the 24th of June. Incredibly excited for the wedding I'll be apart of this summer, but also next summer! Congrats to my brother Jordan for popping the question and bless his fiance Anne for taking pity on him and saying yes. Until next time folks, have some diesels ready for the 24th!

P.S. The moment you realize you're on vacation with four Asians...

Tuk Fast, Tuk Furious

It's been a while, gang. My apologies, but term 3 is a grind.  We'll get to that later.  So much to discuss!  After a grand, but far too short trip back to the states in December/January, I hopped on board a flight to Bangkok for an international teacher's fair.  Of course, this was the beginning of the snow storm that ravaged the Midwest and dropped temperatures down to -40 degrees. I miss it....is that weird? Anyways, it caused us to have a three hour delay at the gate and forced us to then make an emergency stop in Seoul to pick up another cabin crew.  20 hours on the plane. 20....hours....I was so happy they give free booze for international flights.

I met three other friends at the fair and our confidence was sky high.  Enjoying each others company, Bangkok and the fact that we're all going to get top-flight jobs. Oh, how the mighty fall.  After the first day, we were shell shocked.  These were all international teachers with 5+ years of teaching experience and training specific to the schools that were in attendance.  We all came back to the hotel and started talking about where we were going to live next year, since we'd all have to re-sign with our current school.  Luckily enough for two of my friends, they ended up getting jobs in South Korea and Romania.  Awesome gigs.  Myself and my other friend decided to re-sign with our current school for another year.  Disappointing at first, but another year of white sand beaches and great food won't be all that bad.

The two of us, avoiding our other celebratory roommates, decided to make the jaunt to Khao Shan road in Bangkok.  It's a famous area for tourists to buy cheap goods, have some great food and party the night away (By the way, the food cart on the right included fried grasshoppers, cockroaches and scorpions).  After taking the subway to the nearest station, we had to find another form of transport to take us the rest of the way.  Enter the inspiration of this blog post: the tuk-tuk.  How to describe a tuk-tuk for those who haven't experienced its awesomeness....it's a motorcycle that pulls a covered, open-air bench around for the change in your pocket.  However, they are notorious for having a finger in everything. They'll offer you and/or know where to get anything under the sun:  food, booze, drugs, women, midget wrestling, etc. You name it, they know.  So my friend and I weren't surprised when the tuk-tuk driver turned around and asked "You want boom-boom?!" I look at my friend, thinking the same thing you are right now, and say "Oh no, no boom-boom for us tonight. Thanks."  He turns around clearly disappointed.  About five minutes later, another tuk-tuk drives by with some very attractive young women and our driver feels the need to flip on the huge speaker right behind us. Blaring music is echoing from our tuk-tuk while the driver turns around with a thumbs up, a huge grin on his face and says, "Boom-boom!" while pointing to the speaker.  Only in Asia, my friends.

A mere four weeks after I returned to Jakarta and signed the one-year pact with my current school, it was Chinese New Year.  Our four day weekend was spent in the non-commercial paradise of Belitung.  In the process of trying to become Indonesia's next tourist hotspot, a four-star hotel had just been built in anticipation of future tourism. Rooms for the weekend during their soft opening were dirt cheap and the accommodations were fantastic.  Clear blue water and beautiful rock formations were the selling point at nearly every beach.

Strong currents and seasickness didn't stop us from island hopping during the trip.  We visited an old (but still operational) Dutch lighthouse and another island with a sea turtle farm.  In the middle of this term, sun and relaxation are necessities and Belitung fit the bill.  Just watch out for that damn coral. Shit messed up my knee and tore my board shorts.  But hey, we got to the top of some of those rocks.

In the midst of our 10-week revision, this was the only time I could find to write this blog.  Belitung was the one bit of solace during the grind that takes up at least 50 hours of your week, every week, for the ten weeks the students get to prepare for their graduating exams. Have to love the Singapore curriculum.

Heart goes out to my great uncle Augie. He passed away this past weekend at 91. Guy was a dude. Still on Facebook and reading my blog at age 91. So this one is for you, Uncle Augie. Sorry I couldn't finish it before you passed.  Next blog post will be early April, folks. Planning on a trip to Jogjakarta (old capital) and the Derawan Archipelago. Until then, enjoy the cold and have a reasonably priced diesel for me!