India: A Long Overdue Recap

 I haven't stretched these muscles in a long time. Two plus years, in fact.

I knew it had been a while since my last post, but didn't realize it'd been over two years since outlining our wonderfully terrible repatriation flight from India to the US in April 2020.

The past two years, for us and everyone else, has been jam-packed with Covid stories, workplace war stories, and head-shaking political moments. But we couldn't be happier while sitting in a Starbucks in Des Moines, killing time before meeting a good friend for a drink, after securing jobs stateside. Returning to the US cost an arm and a leg, and no doubt we're returning at a weird time, but it is well worth being close to friends/family....and a Target.

When we returned to the US in April 2020, we had no idea we'd be staying for nearly six months. With metal sheets being boarded onto the apartment doors of Covid-positive Indians, and our school remaining entirely virtually to start the 2020-21 academic year, we politely told our school to piss off and that we're staying in Iowa until we return to in-person learning. Fortunately, that happened sooner rather than later: we returned to India and our school in October.

And we returned at the right time: schools were returning to in-person (albeit hybrid) learning, you could go out to a bar/restaurant [before 10:00pm], and it looked like the pandemic we slowly transitioning to an endemic. Also, our holiday was upcoming, so we were able to scoot around domestically and finally explore India a bit more.

We took a glass half-full approach, but there was still a lot of uncertainty, so we wanted to hit India's big tourist attractions while we had the chance: the Taj Mahal, Rajasthan, etc. I was even more enthused when I realized we could skip Delhi and fly straight into Agra, skipping the smog and stench of New Delhi...how awful....

We loved the Taj Mahal, but hated Agra. The former was majestic, the latter was a dump. Thankfully, we were only slated to stay there for a day or two, so we explored some, got some good food, then boogied out of there.

Jaipur was much more amenable, as it is elevated and felt more like Bangalore than Agra. While we have had colleagues venture west of Jaipur into the desert, we were pretty content with exploring the city, purchasing goodies at the market, and enjoying rooftop bars overlooking Jaipur. 

With Omicron came the suspension of in-person school activities and the return to virtual learning. Any momentum built in Semester 1 was stopped in its tracks and we were left asking ourselves (again) if we should escape to the US or bunker down in India.

By this time, we had informed our school that we wouldn't be returning for the 2022-23 academic year. It took all of five minutes after the survey was released to reply 'thanks, but no thanks'. We could have said something less savory, but we are Midwesterners (or honorary Midwesterners) after all.

Though we had a couple nibbles internationally, our goal was to return to the US. We had started the green card process, Dita had finally secured her Iowa teaching license, and we were ready to settle in one location for a good while. However, the most stressful part of this process (and one that we had been mentally preparing for) was giving up your current job in November and not securing a job until April/May, due to the different hiring periods for international versus US public schools. And though this caused stress because of the uncertainty surrounding our flights, the thing that kept us sane was the hope to return to Indonesia in April before moving back to the US. 

Well, it took booking two separate tickets and arriving in Bali versus Jakarta (again, how awful...), but we were able to speak some bahasa Indonesia (or try and fail to, in my case), eat a lot of beef, and return to India with a ridiculous amount of sambal. Two incredibly slow months later, we returned to the US, while it was actively trying to return to the 1950's. 

Again, weird times, but we're happy to be among family and friends with no lockdowns looming. Though our American colleagues abroad looked at us in disbelief, we are looking forward to our new adventures in the US public system, especially since I will return to teaching full-time and coaching [appropriately skilled] footballers.

Oh, and we went to a Chicago Cubs game over the July 4th weekend. They played the Red Sox and, of course, they lost. I'm not bitter about it...

The Dirty Details of US Repatriation

“It’s like a ghost town.”

This is how Dita described the outskirts of Bangalore urban as a small fleet of embassy organized buses made their way towards Chennai. 

Just over forty people split between four buses travelled to the Taj Hotel, where rooms were blocked for the night before the flight the next evening. The rate, payable at the hotel, was exceptional. Of course, what you save in rate, you pay for in food. Arriving after markets had closed for the night, travellers had little choice than to pay for an overpriced, boxed dinner and packed lunch the following day.

We departed for the airport over six hours before the first scheduled flight. An American flag blew softly in the breeze as we pulled up to the departures gate. It was almost joyful, though it was quickly followed with a consulate employee handing us four pages of documents to ensure we were going to pay for the flight we were about to take. 

After a myriad of paperwork, health checks, and instructions, we finally made our way into the terminal, checked our bags, and waited. Thankfully, travellers could enjoy a cup of MSG-filled instant noodles, soft drinks, or scolding coffee from a bare bones coffee shop opened purely for this flight.

As the expatriates from Bangalore joined those from Kochi, Chennai, and other nearby cities, we were divided onto two Air India planes. Given a global pandemic, these flights operated as anticipated: flights attendants were in full-body PPE, prepackaged snacks waited in seats, and announcements were made prior to the departure asking to all travellers not to request service unless absolutely necessary. The middle seats were blocked for passengers, and a buffer row whenever possible.

Transferring in New Delhi saw several more checkpoints. My passport’s spine has never looked so worn. Dita, a foreign national, had additional hoops to jump through and, of course, was pulled off to the side and threatened that she may not be able to board this plane, even with a valid US visa. Pretty standard US boarder control tactics: fear.

The passengers from both Air India flights joined several more expatriates from New Delhi. I knew this flight was full, but I didn’t think it was going to be full. Dita and I were assigned to A-B seats. I asked the flight attendant as we boarded if we were in a two-seat row or if C was blocked to social distance.

“It’s a full flight, sir”.

We strapped in for the 14-hour United flight from Delhi to San Francisco, adjusted our masks, and took everything in. What we saw was what we saw every time we flew: kids screaming in their seats, passengers crammed in like sardines, and the flight attendants (without masks) helping where they could. 

Needless to say, we couldn’t get off that plane fast enough.

We knew that this flight would cost a large sum of money. Being a one-way trip and with social distancing guidelines put in place for US airlines, we understood why it would cost a large sum. What shocked us both (and enraged me) was how social distancing guidelines could be completely disregarded. An already adherent risk of travelling at this time was compounded by the irresponsibility of the airline and the US embassy.

While our passports and body temperatures were checked about a dozen times in India leading up to our flights, we breezed through US customs as if the world wasn’t facing a pandemic. No medical screening, no questions about planned quarantine. Just a routine customs check and be on your way.

It was a night and day difference between the Indian and US flights, which reflected perfectly why the former is winning the war against Covid-19 in comparison to the latter.

My colleagues in India would ask why we wanted to return to a country that has completely bungled the Covid-19 outbreak.

After taking that repatriation flight, I couldn’t respond.

The sush is loose!

It’s been a rough life, folks. Two weeks off for Christmas, two weeks off for Chinese New Year and a week off for spring break. Wedged in between were six, 10-hour work days each week, but I can’t complain as I leave my latest travel destination: Japan. 

I had no real interest in visiting Japan prior to making the trip. Everything I’ve heard about Japan has been eat, poop and repeat. Visiting the oval office is all well and good, but I wasn’t going to make a trip of it....though I am buying a Japanese toilet when I have my own home. I know we’re talking taking a grumper, but stay with me here. First, heated seats. Doesn’t tickle your fancy? The remote controlled water jets will do just that; spray your bum, adjust the pressure, maybe some background noise? Ladies, it even has a jet for the front door. It did everything but wipe your ass and tell you good job.

I think that’s enough poo talk. Let’s crack on.

I was never keen on Tokyo (too many damn people), so I flew into Osaka and immediately jumped a train to Kyoto. The old capital of Japan, Kyoto had a lot temples, shrines and paths to check out the cherry blossoms. The latter are only in full blossom for about a week, so the country was filled to the brim with old white folks taking a trillion photos. Surprisingly enough, it was still quiet, serene and quite stunning.

All I wanted to do after the enlightenment I obtained after the Philosopher’s Path was eat a shit ton of sushi. Good news is that there’s a fair few places to eat sushi in Japan. We found a conveyer belt sushi joint with a stereotypically loud Japanese chef. Carnage ensued. The sushi was so fresh and so good that I soon had a fairly large stack of plates in front of me. 

Worth. Every. Penny.

After walking around what felt like all of Kyoto, my blistered feet and I hopped on a train back to Osaka and straight to Universal Studios. The main attraction: Harry Potter Wizarding World. Like a little kid in a candy shop (they actually had a Honeydukes there). I was stunned how well Universal Studios did putting this together. You walk through the village of Hogsmeade with all its shops, butterbeer vendors and the Hogwarts Express. It the backdrop is the Hogwarts castle. This thing was MASSIVE. A tip to anyone who goes: get the express pass. We waited a shade under three hours for two rides. 

After a quick visit to ‘New York’ for the Spider-man ride and waiting a ridiculously long time for the park’s biggest coaster, The Flying Dinosaur, it was back into Osaka central for a little more exploration, food and another night of sleep in a capsule. A capsule? It’s basically a personal, coffin-sized box in a room of a dozen plus other capsules. Those who are claustrophobic...maybe not your cup of tea.

Alas, no more adventures for me until I come back home late June. The next month will be the downhill slope of a ridiculously busy Semester 2 and, by roughly mid May, it’ll be smooth sailing until I’m stateside....I hope.

Look forward a sushi-less Iowa in a couple-ish months, even with it’s ordinary toilets...

Going to Angkor be like Waaaaat

Firstly, I apologize. The title...just not my best work. You’d think I’d change it, but no. I’m in such a state of chill that I just decided to crack on so I can enjoy this view instead of burying my head in my iPad.

After the longest five weeks of my life, school broke for Chinese New Year. A 17-day holiday five weeks after our winter holiday (also 17 days). 

I’ll take it. 

After a wonderful couple of weeks stateside (apologies to those I didn’t catch; this summer!), I continued my tour of Southeast Asia by hopping over to Siem Reap, Cambodia. The biggest draw of the city lies just outside its limits: Angkor Wat. Saving the best for last, I spent the first couple of days catching up on sleep, exploring the markets and drinking 50 cent beers. Yep, quality beer for 50 cents. All day, everyday. My kind of place. Couple that with a slew of Nike and Under Armour products sold in the market for about a quarter of the US retail price, I was in heaven.

The temples, Angkor Wat, Bayon and Ta Prohm, were beyond describing. The sheer magnitude of each temple, the history, how long it took to build, how quickly it was destroyed. It was just all mind boggling. If you don’t have an appreciation for history after seeing such things, you’re not human.

After the unbogglement, I made my way to the airport and onto my next destination: Luang Prabang, Laos. I’ll give you a second to check Google Maps. I promise it’s a real place though.

The entire town was recently named a UNESCO heritage sight due to all the surrounding attractions: various waterfalls, a buffalo dairy ranch (weird, right?), caves, elephant sanctuaries and a ridiculous amount of Buddhist temples. If the above and a 11:30 drinking curfew appeals to you, this is the spot for you. A place after my own heart: I can wake up and do touristy shit, start drinking by early afternoon, be in bed by 11pm. My soul, that of 67 year old grandpa, is perfectly content.

All too quickly, I was back on the plane to normality. After a day in Hong Kong, my remaining 5ish days of holiday was restocking my fridge, exploring a near vacant Shenzhen and prepping for the craziness that is the coming month. 

The good news: March will consist of a couple business (turned vacation) trips to Macau before another week of holiday in early April. The destination: Japan. I plan to have my mind yin and yanged during the Philosopher’s Walk in Kyoto, stuff my face is Osaka and then head to the HP Wizarding World. Oh, yes...you heard me correctly. I submit to nerdom when it comes to Harry Potter. No shame.

Already booked my flight back home in June, so let’s start stocking up on the dog, white rice and noodles now! I’m kidding...maybe. Til next time!

Ni Hou, China

This month marks my sixth in China, though it seems now like I’ve been there longer (though ‘ni hou’ is about the extent on my Mandarin; means ‘hello’). Assimilating into the Chinese culture has been easy in Shenzhen, compared to Jakarta. Primarily because Shenzhen is so much more developed than Jakarta. The tech hub of China has a quality metro, expat friendly services and, more importantly, microbreweries. Good beer...I didn’t realize how much I missed you. To say Jakarta had none of these would be an understatement. I’ll miss the people, the food and how simple the language was, but Shenzhen has been a welcome upgrade, standard of living wise.

Now, onto the new school: a newly accredited international school (huge deal in the international community, as many are not), beautiful campus and an (accredited) IB world school.

I don’t know why they hired me.

I know I’m more than capable of the job, that’s not what I mean. Myself and every other young teacher/administrator understands how a lack of experience deters employers. At the original job fair I went to, schools wouldn’t even give you a sniff unless you had two years of experience. I BARELY had two years experience as an Athletic Director (that title being a stretch, with what I was doing at my former school) and only five years of total teaching experience. Most teachers in the States bust their hump for 10+ years before being able to toss their name in the AD hat. So, needless to say, I was shocked when such an established, albeit young, school wanted a second interview, let alone offer me a contract.

I soon figured it out. The school, only in its sixth year, had created the AD position a year prior. Naturally, they handed the position to the veteran Physical Education teacher. One of my best friends is a PE teacher, so I mean no disrespect, but it still baffles me how any competent administrator believes the AD position has anything to do with PE. Both positions require a person who...likes wearing shorts? Obviously, they’re the same then. (Insert a face palm-type WeChat sticker here)

And off my soap box...

Long weeks plagued my first semester while completely overhauling the athletics program: ordering new jerseys, forming a booster club, rebranding the new logo/slogan and so much more. There were some lumps along the way: incompetent manufacturers, me threatening murder, excessive red tape, etc. You know, the usual. However, I can now see a light at the end of the tunnel because of supportive superiors and a competent (and willing) Board. The latter highlights how poor the Boards at my previous schools were. It has done nothing to regret my decision of running, not walking, away from an extension offer at my previous school.

My first two holidays were quite tame: a half-week exploring Hong Kong and Macau in October and going home for Christmas. Apologies to those I missed over the last holiday, but I only had 2ish weeks back home. Most international schools in China had similarly short holidays. Why? Because we turn around 4-5 weeks later and have 2+ weeks off for Chinese New Year.

And that’s where I’m at right now: currently starting my holiday in a cafe, enjoying my reading and writing in Siem Reap, Cambodia. For those that want to hear of the awesomeness of Angkor Wat and where I plan on going next, don’t fret. A separate blog post will be coming soon after!

Hong Kong & Macau: (Insert Crafty Title Here)

My original title, "Macau: Vegas of the East", seemed a little inappropriate, given that we've entered the age of political sensitivity. Though I will depart from the norm and address it later in the blog.

However, let's kick off my first Chinese blog post by talking about living in Shenzhen. Simple answer: it's easy. This may seem overly simplistic to some, but it greatly contradicts everything I've heard about China prior. I thought I would be lost without nuisances of the language, few amenities for westerners, etc. It's quite the opposite. Now, Shenzhen is an anomaly.  That needs to be stated clearly. Everyone here will say the same thing: this isn't China. A fair statement, considering that Shenzhen is more like a newer, mini Hong Kong than part of the stereotypical Chinese mainland.

But like any new job, shit hits you hard and fast. Two months in and I was looking forward to a short vacation, then using the remaining time to catch up. First stop: Hong Kong.

The bar was set pretty high for this place. I have colleagues that love the place, that go back every weekend, that say it's better than Shenzhen...but I was a bit disappointed. Parts of Hong Kong are fantastic. The harbor is clean and well maintained, there's ALWAYS something going on and it is a shopper's dream. However, amongst the several new buildings, there was a horde of others that were deteriorating. I made the trip exactly what it needed to be: relaxing. Helped along by this gem (above): an Indonesian market right across the street from our hotel. Bought me some sambal, so I'm a happy man.

Macau was vastly different. It's unique blend of Portuguese, Chinese and American was alluring and it's a place where I could visit regularly. Maybe like some of you, my picture of Macau was that of James Bond in Skyfall: spectacularly dressed individuals in over-the-top casinos in which I MAY be able to play one hand of blackjack on my lowly salary. Far from it. It seems a well-maintained city with wonderful food options and the added bonus of a dozen-ish casinos. They took this proclaimed title of 'Vegas of the East' and ran with it. Good news for future visitors: it doesn't disappoint. Within walking distance of most hotels in the Old City, you'll find numerous remains of Catholic cathedrals and buildings from the Portuguese-occupation of Macau. Most famous of these were the Ruins of St. Paul (above). Even on a Tuesday, these ruins were packed. Less so when this picture was taken, because the sun came out....

And what do you see when you look opposite of these ruins of any other part of the Old City? Casinos. Enormously out-of-place casinos monstrosities that light the place up like Christmas.

The Galaxy (above) is one casino. One. It looks like all of Tama would fit comfortably inside. There were several of these in Macau, like the Venetian right across the street: a mall/casino/movie theatre/FOUR different hotels/Narnia. I can only assume the latter was tucked away somewhere, but we just didn't find it (typical). Of course, the selling point for the Venetian was the canals that were built (on the 3rd floor, mind you) in the middle of the mall.

Love to gamble? Can't afford to go to Venice? Want to feel tall? Macau has you covered.

The place went to so much detail that the gondoliers actually serenaded the folks in their boat. I almost literally had to catch my friend whom, after catching the eye of the gondolier, saying she was from Ireland and hearing a whole ten seconds of an Irish song, swooned and nearly fell into the canal.

Crazy place and one I will definitely be visiting again, particularly when you get that itch to lose some money.

Of course, as I'm visiting the Vegas of the East, the real Vegas suffers a terrible tragedy. ISIS, as they do, claimed the attack as their own. Which is bullshit. That smokescreen doesn't take away from the fact that this was a domestic terrorist attack, in every sense of the phrase.

People consistently ask me, "So, when are you coming back [to the US]?" It's a hard question to answer. Indonesia wasn't my home. China isn't my home. America is my home. America is like...the asshole in your group of friends. You can make fun of them because they're your asshole and deep down you love 'em. I understand that, ironically enough, I may very well be this person in your group of friends. But I digress...

I always look for opportunities to come home. I hope for one. Truly. Nothing would give me more happiness than to continue my career at a quality school in the States. However, living in a different country allows you to zoom out and look at the country's event somewhat objectively. Neither party favors me personally, so I'm devoid of bias. Like putting together a puzzle, most of the people in the US are able to link a couple pieces together, but I'm able to see the picture that's forming and it's clear: there's something terribly broken with this country. And it saddens me beyond words.

A senior White House correspondent for CNN unnecessarily states that most of the country music concert goers in Vegas were likely Trump supporters, like that fucking matters in one of the worst massacres in our country's history. The country's President tries to influence the NFL, a private sector business, in their handling of peaceful protesting. The country divided on the latter because they allude protesting during the anthem to disrespecting the United States of America, as their barbecue tableware and Budweiser cans have the American flag on it. All the while, one of US territories suffers the worst natural disaster in nearly a century. The response by the executive branch? We're trying, but the Mayor is colluding with the Democrats to be mean to me.

"So, when are you coming back [to the US]?"As I said before, it's a difficult question to answer.

Indonesia: The Final Chapter

Five years sounds like a long time, but it seems like I just finished my first two year contract. As I return home for the summer, I begin to realize that I've been in this routine for so long that part of me thinks I'm packing up to return to Jakarta. Alas, China will be the new destination in the coming months. After teaching Chinese-Indonesian students for five years, it's time to go to their homeland and see what the fuss is about.

It has been a while (October) since my last blog post and I could regale you with stories until I'm blue in the face, whether it be from me talking or you choking me. However, I'll limit the bureaucratic bullshit of educational systems and focus more on my travels and adventures.

Fast forward from October to March, when I decided to forego a big international trip for a local visit to one of my favorite Indonesian islands: Lombok. Traveling with Diane and Sammy was an adventure itself, particularly with the 7 pm vs 12 am bedtimes, respectively. Venturing back to the Gili Islands is always a great time. A weird combination of serenity, clear blue water and stinky weed.

Next was a long weekend trip to Yogyakarta, trying to do/see all those touristy things I missed out on the first time. Prambanan and Kaliburu (above) were great, though the company was better.

Last, but certainly not least was South Korea. I met Joe in Seoul for a day before heading to Jeju Island for Ben's wedding. Seoul, on the surface, seems like a great city. Though the subway was pretty packed, it was a good walking city with a large number of expats and very easy to visit. Our most memorable stop was to the Korean War Memorial (below).

This place was MASSIVE. Aside from the building itself, there was an additional area with airplanes, trucks and a small ship on the other side of the pillars [to the right]. One of the best things about this museum is that it showed thousands of years of history without bias. Walking in the war museum in Ho Chi Minh made any American with a conscious feel awful for what the country did in that war (the museum didn't show what the Vietnamese were doing to draw us into the war). However, the museum in Seoul was exactly what a museum should be: interesting and unbiased facts.

From Seoul to Jeju Island is the most commonly flown route in the entire world, and with good reason. Ben met Joe and I at the airport and we were able to see a glimpse of what the island holds. I could only imagine that this is what Maui looks like. A huge island full of expats with multiple international schools and golf courses. Needless to say, people who routinely go here have a little more money than Joe and I. Evident as we walk through crowded airports looking like hobos.

After my last 22 hour plane ride from Jakarta to Chicago, I have finally reached the bustling town of Tama. Losing my money at the casino, tending bar and Subway. What a lovely way to spend the summer before heading to Shenzhen. I can only hope that this job and school are better and more applicable to what I know the Athletic Director position to be. Until I make that [shorter] trip in August, I'll enjoy cheap booze and far too much Mexican food. Psych! There is no such thing!